My lovey

Just thought of having some fun when I stumble upon this site while I was browsing their music. The Script (www.thescriptmusic.com)

Just felt it is a very cool way to promote their songs, and people just like having fun with the video. To send it to someone close to you, it just seem so sweet :D

So here, I did something for him ;)

I thought of a picture of both of us, but since I wanted to dedicate this to him, I decide to use his picture :P



Oh oh! Even better, I would ask him to post this video on his myspace, so to make that bitch envy a little LOL

Bumpy Road

My relationship been bumpy a little. Make me thinking of keeping my options open. I am still not sure if my bf is the one I want, though I really really love him!

Things worsen, when two individual (who doesn’t know each other, one of them were our mutual friend) telling me that my bf is cheating on me and asked me to break up with him. The mutual friend is having some misunderstanding perhaps on my bf. I have explanations on what he had told me, about my bf was with another girl. I think I know about that incident. That girl was actually my bf’s sister (unless my bf is lying to me about this). Another one which till today I can’t find a proper explanation why she want to say these to me. A girl who has been good friend of my bf suddenly told me that my bf and her had a thing together, and that my bf is willing to accept her and her child (she is a single mum). According to her that my bf has no longer have the heart to love me anymore, but he just doesn’t know how to say it to me. Perhaps both of them don’t have faith to be together, but she really loves him. Asked me to break up with my bf.

When I first heard I was a little mad. As I hated cheaters. My bf very well knows about this, especially what I have been through with all my exs. I was still calm, but it trouble me at night thinking about it. The more I thought, the more it doesn’t make sense to me. My bf isn’t entirely stupid. Why would he want to have an affair with someone who is so far away from him (She is in Borneo while my bf and I are in the Peninsular) and already have a son (it would explain better if that son was his). Whatever reason I think of, I still can’t figure out why she wanna say such thing to me.

I decided to do a little check up on her and my bf. I noticed that my bf has stopped talking to her for quite some time. Since then, she has been messaging me and our friends about my bf, posting to be a friend of his and wanted to say hi. Backtracking her messages with my bf, I got to know that she already long time knew about me and that I was in relationship with my bf way before I thought she knew it from me (because I told her when she asked if I was dating him just a day before she told me about their ‘affair’). Lots of questions that I would like to ask.

So finally I met up with my bf, and confronted him. I didn’t jump straight to the questions I wanted to ask, but instead asking him why isn’t he in speaking terms with the gal since they are good friends. Apparently the gal was asking way too much personal questions about me and our relationship, my bf got angry with her. He doesn’t want to talk to her anymore, unless is just normal chatting. Then, I told him that someone had a crush on him, which surprises him. Slowly I let out the conversations I had with the gal and the accusation of the affair, I choose not to believe, but still I would like to know if it is true, and if he wanted to break up with me. My bf just felt weird why the gal would say such thing to me, and want to ruin our relationship. He admit himself that he would be real stupid to have an affair with someone he hasn’t met before and being so far away, while I’m just next to him.

If my bf wanted to break up with me, he has plenty of chances to do so, for I am easy to speak to if he wants to let out what’s in his mind. He said it before, and I could accept it. We had this conversation before, if shall we find we are not suitable for each other I am alright to let him go. As far as I see, I do know he still loves me.
Till now, I still can’t understand why one would wanna say such a thing to hurt me. Or, were there things between them?
Guess I have to dig further to find out why……

Hm… sometimes I wish I were more of a dumb blonde, so I wouldn’t be so sensitive on some issues, picking up feelings from my six-sense (especially things that will go wrong) is too strong to deny. At times, things are better NOT knowing than finding out the truth.

Perhaps, I do not need the truth… I just need to learn to trust….

A little Flattered...

I was in a little stage of confusion a week ago..

Someone which I never expected had shown interest in me. It was mixture of feelings. Firstly, I thought he was just being friendly, though I did suspect that he was flirting with me. My bf insisted that he is just being nice and friendly to me. Some times I think he is quite cute, he is really funny and cuddly. Nevertheless, I loved my bf more than anyone else.

Weeks gone by, months passed with just a glimpse of an eye. I forgot about the whole flirting thing. Till recently, I saw he changed his status from being Single to In A Relationship, as a friend, I messaged him to congratulate him. However, he wasn’t really in one. He just put that so he could get one!

That’s the start of our conversation. He admitted he was flirting with me. He finds me attractive. I just felt weird that, in what way I was attractive to him. We did work on a project together, but we hardly spoke to each other! Except, Good morning!, would you like to have more coffee?, Good Bye! I think that pretty much sums up our daily conversations LOL until we message each other whereby the flirting started.

Though we chit chat a little but we never go very personal questions, were more merely general conversation about work etc. Past couple of days had been sharing quite a bit with him after his confession. He knows about my relationship, he wouldn’t interrupt it, except picking a no. and line up in line whenever I am free to date or off a relationship. That was really sweet of him to do so (more points added to him). Unlike some insisted that I go out on a date with them despite me already having one that I loved.

He is still a very nice guy. Really hope he finds someone he loves and loves him back soon. I am really flattered to have him admiring me. I still can’t believe that he finds me attractive. Weird enough that I could actually attract a man of his status :P I really never thought of that at all. So yeah, I love him, as the friend-friend love ;) Hugz Buddy!

Hm….. I wonder how is it like to date him :P
I might not able to get along with his fame and starlight buddies.. but overall if I were to keep low, I think I might enjoyed it quite a bit ;)

Clinic Horror

 

For the past few weeks life hasn’t been good to me, other than being really busy, I also had some minor injury.

Was having fun walking by the mall with my mum after accompanying her watching Mama Mia (still enjoyed it even after twice watching it) two weeks ago. Some kid stepped on my toe. For a moment, I just thought okay someone stepped on me, it hurts a little but its nothing much, perhaps the kid didn’t knew she stepped on me. So I didn’t bother, turn around and continue walking. First step was pain. Second step was painful. Third step, unbearable!!

I turned around and saw the kid looking back at me, she might have known she hurt me when I yelled in pain while I walked. I look down and saw my bloody toe. Heavens! She ripped off my nail! I was walking to the carpark, thought I can still make it back home and clean up. God knows how big Mid Valley Megamall is and I parked at 5^th Floor, The Gardens. I had to walk and stop for many times as the pain was killing me. Had to hold my tears as well.

At first I thought she just broke half of my nail, I could just go home and cut out the broken half and I should be fine. It’s not like it haven’t happen before. My nails are pretty soft so they are easily to be peeled. While I was driving home, I really couldn’t stand the pain anymore, and was having problem focusing on the road. That’s when I told myself I need to get to the clinic.

Was driving around my housing area to find one, sadly the ones that I prefer to go to were closed! Since it’s already past 10pm, except for one. They were shutting the grills, when my mum went in and told me it’s emergency.

When I got there, the doctor didn’t sound quite happy having to take me as his last patient as he already packed up wanting to leave. Went in to his room, he asked what happen so I explained the whole scenario to him. He took out a needle (meanwhile have time to joke with the nurse) poke into a little bottle of medication and ready to jap me, that’s when I stop him. I asked what medication were those and why is he japing me. A poor little kitten I were really terrified with needles and trying to stand the pain, I needed someone to explain to me before they stuff me with needles and medication. Clearly the doctor didn’t sense that at all, and his first word that came out from his mouth was “You want to die ar?”. Bloody hell! I was bit offended when he said that. I told him I just wanted to know what the doc is doing before he japs me or give me any pills. I might be allergic to what crap he was giving me!

He gave me a tetanus jap on my leg, which I find it completely weird, as people do not give injections at muscles, the medication will not flow properly compare to fatty tissues on arms and butt. Then, the scary part came. He actually took the same needle (which by now is filled with blood, because he jap the medication into my blood veins) poke it into another bottle of medication (supposing anesthesia) and jap my little toe. Shouldn’t a doc change needle especially after mine is filled with blood and he pokes into another bottle of solution and wouldn’t my blood flow into the solution? Isn’t that the main cause of transferring HIV?? I stop him again and asked what is that for, and could I not have that. He told me that I would be stupid not to have it, as he has not seen anyone can take the pain of removing a nail. I already saw my nail has came off, just need someone to pull it. Yes it definitely gonna hurt, but I just thought I can take the pain. In actual fact, I didn’t wanted to use back the same needle.  ottle First jap I let out a tiny ‘Ah!’, second jap I had to scream, when the doc was ready for the third one I STOP HIM! I had to asked if 3 japs is necessary as I already saw there’s no medication left to jap into me in the needle. The doc said asked me to look at my mum so I wont feel the pain (?? What kind of logic is that?? I ain’t no two year old!). While he was giving me the third jap, my mum asked if so many injections were necessary, and there it goes the rude doctor said to my mum “Shut up! Get out of this room! And let us do our job!”. I was seriously pissed off at this point. You can be rude to me but never to my mum. I can’t say much at that time as I was already in pain screaming as he continue poking me with the 4^th & 5^th & 6^th…… I lost count after that. I almost passed out of the pain. Doc keep saying that I shouldn’t be feeling any pain already as he had already given me the anesthesia. I wanted to scream at the doc and tell him to “F*****g pull out my nail and give me pain killers!”. Literally I can still feel the needles poking me and he moved the needle while it is in my toe! Perhaps he just jap for fun to see if I felt the pain after the anesthesia, but heck! Was it necessary?? Or perhaps he just does ‘payback’ for me questioning him…

My mum was pissed while I was damn furious when we left the clinic. He was entirely rude to me & my mum, wasn’t helpful at all when I question him certain things about medication or treatment. The whole treatment cost RM 100, which I felt it was way too expensive.

That night itself, I couldn’t sleep. The pain was still killing me and my injured leg muscle felt like cramp all the night I couldn’t move it much. The pain killers didn’t help at all after I popped a few in. Next day I went to work (as I have event going on the day after, have to go in for rehearsal to make sure everything is well), suffered the whole day exhausted and pain. The following night I still couldn’t sleep and was on high fever. Finally the next day, I got really frustrated, went to the pharmacy and got another stronger pain killer. According to the pharmacist, the pain killer given to me wasn’t strong enough to stand such endure pains. Darn that doc again!

I was having difficulty walking for not the pain on my toe but the pain on my leg where that doc gave me the tetanus jap. I noticed it was swollen as well. On the 3^rd day, I felt heat and itchiness on the leg near where the medication was. It shows no good sign to me. By the 4^th day, my mum is very concern about my leg, as it is red and swollen, I was still limping and itchy, when I scratch I felt short sharp pain. A friend of mine came to visit me at work, straight away she saw something not right on my leg even way before I told her about in toe nail thingy, she advice me to go seek other doctors.

Went to my office panel clinic, the doctor there was really surprise to see what happened to me. I told him the whole incident with the doctor and not surprise that My leg was infected! Well he said a little. The medication was stuck in my veins not going anywhere, that’s what causes the swell, red heat and itchiness. The doc couldn’t do anything about it except to wait for a week to see what it turns out. He advice me to massage my leg and have hot pack cover my leg to help blood flow, hopefully it would wash the medication out than to clog it there. If not he will need to do something to get the medication out. My thoughts were right. The stupid doc jap it at the wrong place. According to the panel doc, normal (note: NORMAL) doctors wouldn’t give injection at legs, thigh might be a possibility but never to places where muscles are, as the medication hard to flow into our blood. Soft tissues are always the best spot.

Then I asked him to have a look at my toe, as after days it is still not healing. Doc opens up the bandage and again it is infected! He request for immediate dressing with proper tools and medicine. He scolded me for not going to his place for dressing. I didn’t know that I suppose to re-visit the horror clinic for dressing! The stupid doctor and nurse didn’t told me to! So I did it myself at home. My toe was slightly swollen and light purple colour. Doc said there wasn’t any blood flowing to my toe (might cause the nail not growing back), and a lot of foreign substance on the wound (from the cotton bud and bandage that was sticking to my skin everytime I try to dress it), he had to pull out strains of thread and clean it up for me. Was little painful, but it was something I could take it (and didn’t need any anesthesia!). After he cleaned up, he was shock to see the injection holes on my toe. He thought I was joking about the doc giving me more than 6 jap on that tiny little toe. He was laughing at first thinking I was just exaggerating, telling him a horror story, but now he gets to see the tiny holes and he could count them! The only words that came out from the panel doc was “That doctor is psycho! Crazy! Insane! Better not see that doctor again! Are you planning to sue him?”

I did thought of sue-ing the doctor, but who should I go to?? This clinic is private clinic, I can go complain to the doctor who owns the clinic, which I did that before complaining the rudeness and un-professionalism of another doctor. Now looks like I have encounter two rude doctors from the same clinic and now this doctor has cause my toe might not able to grow back the nail (I am praying hard for it to grow back!).

After a few proper dressing, my toe are now better. Still no nail yet, friends told me it need months… right.. so I wait… Every day & night I massage my leg with hot pack laying on it. It took few days the swell to go down and slowly the itchiness fade, which is good news, that shows it is not infected.

Thought of posting up the pictures of my injured toe but hahaha think it would be too gross la to be up in the blog.. so gonna keep it to myself :P

Mama Mia & Greek

Went and watch 'Mama Mia' The Movie today with Tanya.

I have to say I really enjoyed the movie :D
Not just that the songs are good & catchy, the cast were great too! Its really like watching a musical rather than a movie, guess that's why it is known as 'movical' haha
I think I vote this as the next best movical after my fav 'Grease'. Saw the promo trailer for 'High School Musical', to me it is like the new version of 'Grease', though I have not seen the first one, but it looks interesting, perhaps I might get all three sequel and watch it at one go :P

For more information on Mama Mia the Movie, can go check out www.mammamiamovie.com . Don't forget to catch the Musical too, coming live on stage at Istana budaya I think this November, the troupe is from London, so it had to be good!

While watching the movie 'Mama Mia', kinna trigger back a little memory. Makes me Missing Musicals again.. yes, I really miss being part of it. Hoping to meet up with my fav director & choreographer from London, Chris Colby & David Kort this coming Sunday and do some catch up while they are down here for business! Really missing them all... Missing all the fun & laugther, not forgetting the sweat & tears working with them..

Another part of that little memory made me thought of Kurt. Blame the script that keep mentioning 'Greek'!!
That's where Kurt is from, seeing the men (cast) and all on screen makes me thought of him. Wondering how is he, where is he, what he is doing etc.. I know he left me, for whatever reasons perhaps it doesn't matter anymore. I was really mean to think that he die off plane crash for he just left without a trace, but sometimes I do miss him. Perhaps he was part of me that I never thought I would be. being with him, makes me feel free. I do things I would never usually do. Oh, blame the script again that says 'Spontaneous' in the movie.

Meeting Kurt was nothing like others. Going out with him was something that I would never normally do. Being picked up at a Club is hardly ever gonna happen to me. So everything with Kurt was really not the norm and was out of the blue, spontaneous response and decision I made on the spot. I never thought of going out clubbing that night, Leely & Jackie just sort off asked to go out and heck I was tired of working so I went along tagging celebrating their graduation. Strangely that night was something that never usually happen, the moment I step in the club, I actually had guys trying to pick me up! (which it had never ever happen before, especially I am absolutely not expecting to be picked up on that day and with my horrible dressing and no make up on at all!) Not one, Not two but FOUR guys! and yup, Kurt was one of them. I wasn't happy at first, before he was all over me, and I don't intend to get to know any guys on that night. For I, I just wanna have fun with the girls. I felt bit annoyed by him being so close to me, instead of slapping him in the face, I decided to be different. I turned around (he was just behind me), looked at him & smile, shook his hand and said thank you and nice to know you, then I walked away. I can still remember Leely & Jackie laughing out loud, with Kurt's jaw almost dropping to the floor over the incident. He didn't know I was damn pissed off with him. Then, things change. Kurt came over and apologise for his action and said want to know me properly. For a guy who would apologise should be given credit, so I decide to give him a chance and get to know him. After that night, we exchanged numbers and has since been in touch for weeks over the phone, till finally we met up again for dinner, things just moved on from there.

Being with Kurt, I felt free. I was able to really enjoy my time with him whenever we are together. Doing things that I want to do which I wouldn't normally do or dare not do. Guess, during the time with him, I was the Bad Girl. Unfortunately, things didn't last, but I was glad for once I was treated like a Greek Princess for a short time of period.

Not trying to be demanding, but I do love my bf to treat me like that some time. Giving me some attention, showering me with love, it's good.. Good for the heart, good for the Soul :P