What am I doing?

As I was eating lunch my brain wonders off… to where I do not know. All of the sudden, I start to question myself. What am I doing here.. I am eating this tasteless meal, thinking about how to settle certain issues I am having.. What the hell am I doing??

A decade ago, I remember talking to Eugene about choices in life and my future. Before he left to UK, he told me to set a 3 years and 5 years goal. I did. Did I achieve any of it? Yes, I did, except not having a house of my own and a car of my own.. and yeah.. my degree… Apart from it, I guess I tasted it all. Am I happy? NO, I am not. I am so sure about it.

For more than a decade I had been working my ass off. Being bullied, harassed, blackmail, threaten, disrespected, backstabbed, beaten up etc.. What I get in the end? Apart from hard-earned knowledge and experiences, I am still struggling to put rice on the table.

For years I let it slipped, perhaps I was in my comfort zone, maybe I given up, or I just wanted to enjoy. Now, again I am struggling..

Thinking, what have I been doing all these years… why am I still at the same situation, where I was back years ago, in fact I think I am in even worst condition..

Need time to re-think what I want. What I need. How am I going to achieve it. I still hope someday they will be proud of me of who I am and my achievement.

Burn like LOBSTER!

Haven’t been online here for quite a bit!

Been busy for the past few weeks, and worst for the next couple of weeks. My long awaited trips are finally coming! Yay!

I will be away to Langkawi Island from 15th – 18th April. Despite living and growing up in Malaysia, I have not been to any islands except my birth place, Penang Island.
I am so looking forward to this trip, even bought new bikini too hahaha sadly my diet plan failed.. so hm…. Am thinking now how to look cute & hot in bikini with a belly LOL

I will be off to Ho Chi Min (Vietnam) in May then Bangkok after that… Will be all travel, travel, & lotsa travel! Don’t worry DG, I still remember you’re coming in June! I locked my June month for you hehehehehe do tell me your travel plans ya!

For the past couple of weeks, I been busy working for a few local Indie Bands, one of them are Frequency Cannon and RadioRabak (Formerly known as KIRI). Been arranging Indie Bands for Groove Junction Bistro & Restaurant. The following are some of the performance clips I recorded with my digital camera (so forgive me with the poor lighting and resolution ya!):

1/ Frequency Cannon @ Groove Junction
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZfkWFfr5QE



Band, Champion of Blast Off (Battle of the Bands by ASTRO), consist of Vocalist, Guitarist, Bassist & Drummer
They are singing Second Chance, this is the acoustic version so it is more tuned down.


2/ Apple Juice @ Groove Junction
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAXdLJeEX5o



3/ KIRI @ Groove Junction
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImSrsKj7L6M


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfS1NXtaV7A


Rock Unite Finalist (Battle of the Rock Bands), they have released their 1st album under

4/ Otam & Novak @ Groove Junction
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpHW__jtEow



5/ Ash & Ray Trio @ Groove Junction
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7LSWu05d14


6/ Senoritas @ Groove Junction
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t25v4KovgXQ


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIe4zu_FjmU



7/ Dinski @ Groove Junction
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zccFOEOVhvc



Last weekend, went to Frequency Cannon’s music video shoot for their single, Rise Above. ‘Rise Above’ just recently won two awards for Best Genre Bender and 3rd in Best Rock Song for Voize Independent Music Awards (VIMA 2008).

Took some nice shots of the boys for profiles and production shots. One thing though, am suffering now because of Sun Burn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ouch!

The Music Video should be out in two weeks time, so stay tune!
This is the first time ever a music video is being shot at the TUDM Museum, where all the old army planes are kept.

Now enjoy the pictures :D
More pics will be at my photo album ;)

How URBAN are you?

I find this really funny and interesting… As I was checking my Facebook updates, I noticed a note from Adam, as usual I would click on it to see what’s up. You know how this facebook got those tagging stuff like someone did some survey and tag another person to do it. This been going on for quite some time and I myself been tagged to do it twice, but nothing come as funny as this particular today I read from Adam’s note.

This particular note is about having some of your personal info being searched on urbandictionary, I find the answers really hilarious, so there I go doing in now:

Instructions
Go to www.urbandictionary.com and type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write the FIRST definition it gives you. I guarantee you're gonna find some pretty hilarious results.

1) Your name:
Michelle

Hebrew meaning "like God"...michelle's are often Leo's, astonishingly gorgeous, very athletic, dark hair and usually curly/waivy/thick, another thing is that almost all Michelle's have similar noses.

guy#1. "man that girl was hot and good in bed"
guy#2. "must've been named Michelle"
guy#1. "how'd you know?"
guy#2. "..."

2) Your age-
24

24, The Jack Bauer Power Hour. The most entertainment you can stuff into a single day. Full of twists, turns, violence, and Elisha Cuthbert.

I had all kinds of work to do, but I decided to watch 24 instead.

3) One Of Your Friends-

Yvonne

you are amazing,rad, scene,

Brittany came up to Fred and told him how Yvonne she was

This is not as funny as the 2nd & 3rd definition I got:
- Yvonne
French-ass name
OH YVONNE, That's a French-ass name, YVONNE!

- Yvonne
To Yvonne is to possess an uncurable fetish of candy while having an irritating upbeat attitude that resembles those of little lolicon girls that you find in anime or hentai.
Coincidentally, you will also find yourself infecting your computer with uncontrollable amounts of viruses.
"Oh crap, I just yvonned my computer."
"Stop acting like such a Yvonne~! What would Kris and Emilio say? Don't you dare anger the mexican christ."


4) What should you be doing-
Working

A term to describe the tedious and boring indentured servitude that most people are forced to endure to get money. Generally, not a pleasant experience.

"No, I can't come to the party tonight. I'm working late."


5) Favorite colour-
Blue

The hue of the portion of the visible spectrum lying between green and indigo, evoked in a human observer by radiant energy with wavelengths of approximately 420 to 490 nanometers.

The sky is blue.


6) Birthplace-
Penang

One of the great mysteries of life, penang is the predominant (or soon to be predominant) term for a vagina. You know, a pussy. A meat taco. Poonany. Fill in what slang you will; it won't feel as satisfying as using "penang". Penang is more than just an anatomical fact. It is a way of life. Loved by almost all men on earth (and statistically 3 out of every 10 women), It has spawned books, plays, music, not to mention the entirety of creation. Seriously, penang is more accomplished than Martha Stewart post-indictment.
Used most frequently in concert with the ever popular boba, when referring to other equally awesome parts of the female anatomy. May also be used as an expletive, but this should only occur when all other words fail to suffice in expressing your anger/shock/amazement/joy.

"My penang itches."

"Why won't anyone love my penang?"

"Daammn, will you look at the bobas on that girl! I'd like to rock her penang."


7) Month of your birthday-
April

a female of wise words. Often regarded as a "panda" person. These types of females are very energetic and friendly, and when you see these types of girls down, you feel down too.

hey, dont feel so down. Thats not very april of you.


2nd definition:

derived from a month, used by parents who lacked creativity at the time of their daughters arrival

'gee, i just gave birth, what month is it again?... April you say..'


8) Last person you spoke to-
Melissa

Melissa is a Greek name.
In Greek, it means "honey bee."
In Persian, it means "red rose."
The feminine version of "Melisseus", legendary "King of Crete."
In mythology, it is the name of a princess of Crete who was changed into a bee after she learned to collect honey.

Melissa is a princess name.

2nd Definition:

Hottest girl in the known universe

likes taking it from behind

wow, you look like melissa


9) One of your nicknames:
Ni Ni

Pronouced: Nie Nie
A friendly, yet unsexual, way of messing around with a fellow friend by taking your hand and shoving it as far up into the ass as it can go and then rotating it so that the hole is feeling intense pressure so that it forces the person being ni nied to squeze their butt muscles together and succomb to the host. This is all done with clothes on.

"If you annoy me one more time, I am going to come over there and give you a ni ni!"

"I heard last night that she got totally ni nied!"


Hahahahahahahahahahaha it cracks the hell out of me

Nonsense in Myspace

What is the oddest email/messages you have received?

We all received numerous spams all the time, from someone in Nigeria needing help to transfer funds to some vigra pills promo.

Some may have know that I have a myspace account, I do go there often as my guy has one account too, so very well you know what I am doing there hahaha spy-ing on him hahahaha I do make some good musician friends from around the world, especially indie bands. Funny enough, I get a lot of crazy messages in my myspace inbox.

Messages such as:
1. Hi, you are very beautiful. Can we be friends?
- Are you becoming my friend just only because I am pretty???

2. Hi, wanna try a big cock?
- What the heck is this??
- and when you say no, or you seen bigger ones than his, he would ask you to try it for yourself to know his is the biggest and MOST satisfying of all. -_-

3. Hi, I read your profile and I like you. I am interested to spend a night with you. Let me know if you are interested. I am willingly to x amount of money for your one hour time. I just need someone to accompany me tonight.
- Quite interesting..
- Do I look like a prostitute to him??? NO!
- Did I stated a Price on my forehead??? NO!
- What’s wrong with these people??

4. Hi there, you have been hand picked to join this coming exclusive party. This party is very exclusive to only selected people with invitation. This party will be attended by rich bachelors who are studying in overseas and came back here for holiday. You can accompany them and all expenses will be paid including shopping. ……………………………………………………………………. The message goes on…
- This is even more interesting
- This is Prostitution! And I am being invited?? WTH!!

5. This just came in today:

Hello, am Ernest Mark from nigeria,but i will be in Malaysia next month i went through ur profile and really i love it, i wanna really know u better if u dont mind?i will appreciate it if we get along on yahoo ym or say msn? mine is be4real2010@hotmal.com be4real2010@yahoo.com and also thesame with MSN aswell,thanks,well am here for a serious relationship that could lead to a marriege, but really i hate players,am not saying u are, just been honest here, i will anticipate ur reply soon thanks and God bless u.

- -_- what’s wrong with these people??????????????????????????????
Enough said. Speechless..

Is myspace suppose to be some dating site? I thought all these while people been using it to promote their music and stuff? At least that is what I know of.

Sickly Day

Haven't been online here since Valentine's Day.
No idea how or why, woke up on Sat morning with a sore throat, but still alright, bit sore but at least I can still talk...

Went out with bf, had a lousy lunch haha met up with his sister, which frankly I wasn't happy about the fact he didn't bother to introduce his sister to me in an official way. Maybe he was thinking about the whole big family ordeal to intro me, or was it something else?? I have no idea .....

After lunch we walked around the flee market at Amcorp Mall, nothing much in mind to buy, so we headed off to Do Re Mi Music Store to get his new wife - Twin Pedal and practice pad. He was so darn happy about it, you can literally see him skipping out of the shop with his new babies in hands, singing away... While me? I just shoke my head watching the big kid.... He has forgotten that today is Valentine's Day.....

After sending him home, I head off to my buddy's Yvonne's house for a nice good Valentine meal. Funny enough, we had meal together with her boyfriend's family! hahahahaha Weird feeling too. This is my first time celebrating Valentine's and with so many people. Later, Yvonne decide to go out, begging (almost) from her hubby to let her off tonight with the girls. We dragged another buddy, Wendy to club! Poor Wendy... We'll all remember the 'dress' she wore for that night haha
She wore a tee and 3/4 length bermuda pants to Yvonne's house so she didnt had nice dress to go clubbing. As we didn't want to waste time going back home to change, we forced her to put on my slack (luckily I wore a dress which is just nice long enough to just cover my bum) and scarf to cover her tee LOL Merrily along we went down town......

We forgotten it is Valentine's Day and One FM is having a concert in town, they have shut down one of the mainroad! which created MASSIVE jam in town. We got all fired up and decided to ditch the idea go clubbing in town. I suggested to head to my friend's cafe - VR1 Cafe (www.vr1world.org/cafe.php), unfortunately my friends didn't like it as they were having a malay band performing, inside were all rugged looking rockers, kinna freaks them out. I wonder what they think when I take them to Paul's Place hahaha I think they will faint. Yeah.. those are the places I hang out.. No one knows I go underground gigs... Upon wanting to exist I realised I lost the parking ticket! We wasted another 20mins frantically looking for the lost ticket in my car because it would cost me RM 50 if I cant find it! Thanks to Wendy, she found it :D and the parking only cost me 20cent hahahaha

After all the ordeal, we went to JayaOne's Chulo where another friend of ours were hanging out there. Nice place and their menu looks good :D.. Went in happened to bump into another friend of mine, Jo Vin. Appearantly he owns the club!!! -_-" How come I didn't know... Too many friends of mine are having cafes and bars, kinna lost count LOL I kept thinking Jo Vin was having some Jap restaurant in hand, since he has been a great caterer for me :D
Love you Jo Vin! Hope with your bistro, you stil have time to do catering for me hahahaha
If anyone has time do go JayaOne to check out Chulo. I have yet to try their food..

The whole night we were just giving a good laugh at Wendy for her dresscode, she didn't allow me to take any picture of her... :D we'll see hehehehehe

As the night coming to dawn, I realised I have almost lost my voice.. The next day I woke up on beautiful Sunday, my nightmare came true.. I lost my voice.. woke up in PAIN! didn't even wanted to talk for the whole day as i even feel the pain by opening my mouth.. Till today I am still having sore throat and cough, despite I have seen doc on Monday and finished my antibiotic but I dont seem to be getting better..................... T_T:


P/S: Pictures will be up later :D as I don't have the pictures now in my office laptop. Home PC is down with together my pic storage.....

Happy V-Day

Well, 14th Feb is just less than 12 hours away.. Another Valentine’s Day.. All these years in my life I have not celebrate Valentine’s day. Not like I do not have dates or anything, its just that every time this day comes, I will be either celebrating CNY in other states or I will be having work, so never had I once celebrated with the one I loved.

This year would be my first ever year celebrating with my bf. Yup! First! Years before this I would be most likely in Penang, walking down the beach and seeing pairs of couples holding hands while me stood there alone LOL pathetic!

I never like having candle light dinners nor flowers or gifts on this special day because I felt it is being too commercialized already and things are awfully expensive! If you truly love someone, everyday should be valentine’s day! Hehehehehehehehehe….
That gives me more excuse to get gifts and dinners for free hahahahaha

Anyhow, will be doing some shopping with bf tomorrow morning then lunch before he heads to work (T_T) still have to work on Valentine’s Day…

So Happy Valentine’s Day ya’all!
Do enjoy this video too +P

Menyusahkan ku ajer…….

As I walked out of the public toilet along Tapah Stop Area, I saw this little boy crying walking out behind me from the ladies. He seem lost, crying out loud with tears all over his face. He seems terrific. I wanted to ask if he was okay r if he was lost. Surrounding people were looking at him, and none came to help that poor little frighten boy.

I almost bumped into a woman who was walking in front of me as I was paying too much attention to the boy rather than the walking path filled with people who are rushing home to celebrate the Chinese New Year. This lady who is just around my shoulder height, turn around looked at the little boy (who is still walking behind me) fiercely and uttered: “Menyusahkan ku ajer………” (Translation – Nothing but trouble to me)

She was the mother of the little boy. What did the little boy had done to piss his mother, I have no idea. However, upon hearing what she had said really raised rage in me. As a mother of that child, she didn’t bother to calm him down from the frantic crying nor hold his hands to walk pass the heavy rush of human traffic. That little boy who is probably not older than 5 years old could be lost easily if he couldn’t keep up following his mother from behind, or worst being taken away by strangers.

Standing next to her, I have the rage to tell her that “Kalau menyusahkan, janganlah ada anak. Bila ada anak, tak nak jaga. Bila ada apa-apa hal pulak tuduh orang lain pulak.” (Translation – If it is troubling, do not have a kid. When you have one, you didn’t want to take good care of one. When there’s anything else, you blame it on other’s mistake.)

I can’t understand why these parents would want to have so many children when they can’t take care of one properly. I see many huge families consisting of 6 – 8 children, living in poverty, children running around wild, parents didn’t bother to teach their kids behaviors and manners at home. Letting the children being involved in unhealthy activities. The parents wouldn’t care much. When asked why, they said they couldn’t control their children, the children wouldn’t listen to them, the children mixed with bad influence….. etc excuses. From the beginning if you did not educate your children at home on what is right or wrong and such, how would you want your children to have a proper mindset to think for themselves or future?

I am not against people who have huge families. I think as long as the parents could provide shelter and proper education to the children, giving enough care, guidance and love to the kids, there is no harm having a team of ‘footballers’ in the family. When you do not have the capability to supply or take care more than 2 children, I would suggest use CONDOMS!

That poor little kid, as I left him to go to my car, he was still trying to keep up from behind to his mother’s foot steps. With much anger, I drove all the way back to Johor from Penang with 110 km/h speed…………………………………………………….